Hmmm.... thanks for posting this. It actually relates to some of what I'm going through right now with T. I'd actually love to hear more from you, if you don't mind.

I have been struggling a lot of chocolate and sugar. I had actually lost a lot of weight and was doing great limiting sugar, but when I started with T (last year!) the stress and awfulness of therapy (for me!) plus some other life stresses, kicked me back into sugar mode. It's been a struggle since, and I've gained back all the weight (and probably more).

T keeps asking me, every single session, without fail, "how's the food? how's the chocolate?"

Last month, I actually started to improve a bit... but realized that his asking me causes me more stress, more attention, and makes it HARDER for me to stay on track. I don't want to talk about it with him. He's not a nutritionist, and it's not what I want to spend my therapy money/time on.

So, I started telling him, "it's fine, you asking me is making it harder, and I don't want to talk about it." But, he keeps asking and pushing

This last session, we went through this again, and he said something about accountability, that he thinks that I haven't talked about it enough (?) and that he thinks I need the accountability of him asking?

Ugh. I hate it. I bristle at it. I disagree. I worked it out, on my own, before I even met him. I know what I need to do, but some weeks, it is honestly not a priority (too much other crap, trying to avoid chocolate is not a high enough priority).

I guess I'm curious about how you're seeing accountability as caring? To me, it feels like nagging, stress, poking, checking up, the opposite of caring I hate it... I also had neglectful parents that did pretty much no parenting, teaching, or coaching - so I sort of wondered if that was part of it, that I'm not used to that sort of "involvement". But maybe for you, you guys had agreed that it was something you wanted to do? So the checking-in feels good? Whereas for me, I feel like he's imposing this goal on me, and while I want to work on it, as I said, some weeks it's not a priority. So, I end up feeling like I failed at something that I wasn't trying to do in the first place.

Thanks.