That is a loooong time to be left untreated, you must have some majorly good coping skills. Personally I am fairly happy with stable. I do miss the sheer life that runs through me when I'm manic, but that leads to a LOT of regretful things. I will never miss being so utterly depressed that I don't want to go on anymore. Your bipolar is a part of you, but it does not make you who you are. To me it is a disguise to our true inner self. Please talk to your pdoc about the feelings you are having. Best of luck, let us know how it goes.