I don't understand my pdoc. He told me that I've perfected the art of projective identification and I make him hurt and he doesn't like pain (no one does). He said he felt that things were dangerous. Wish I knew what his fears are about our relationship. I asked him since I make him feel my hurt couldn't that help him help me stop hurting? He said it was complicated a transferance/countertransference thing. He's not sure if we can work our relationship out, but is willing to still give it a go. I want to know what's dangerous. I want to know what went wrong. I want to know how I broke things between us - but maybe I didn't - maybe it's just always been this way because of the way I connect with him and he didn't know what he would be getting into at the beginning. I wish he could communicate better.

I've emailed him saying that I don't understand what his fears are and that maybe if I did, things could be worked out. Next appointment is next Tuesday. Hopefully he won't talk too much and we can explore this in addition to changing the medications.