</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ClydeMED said:
Has it been consistent? The depressive feelings? Over two weeks? If so, I would say yes. If not, at least find a good friend to talk this out with, or feel free to discuss it here...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yes, the nevus and scared feelings I've been getting them from over 2 - 3 years now. Before they used to be more intense now I have much control over them.

My depression think started when about 3 years ago I started getting prank calls, eventually they got threatening I was actually afraid to go outside the house just with the fear that I'm going to be attacked by someone.

Then from there, it changed... I started fearing of losing friends... if my friend didn't call me for a few weeks or days, I would blame myself and I would sit there thinking did I say something to him. And then I would get this strange thinking pattern that maybe my friend now feels like attacking me. After this passed I started getting worried about being prosicuited by the police thinking the police might target me for no reason at all.

Constantly, this has been going on from one worry to the next and theres not even a logical why I would fear things so much. I've been feeling like this for so long now, that I don't even know what it feels like to be normal. I lay in my bed thinking what I've done and why anyone would try to hurt me.

I fear almost everything, and I was never like this... I used to actually go out and didn't have a worry in the world. I used to be able to stand up for myself and fight. Now I feel like running am always planning in my head if am walking how am I going to run what path am going to take etc.

I can't even get a bus to the next city unless if I really had to. I feel safe at home. My heart is so weak now, mentally I've very strong and very logical and ratonial person, in fact sometimes I go so logical that my mom doesn't like it. because I start rearranging things in the home. in fact, am obsessive with things. Like my cloths have to be perfectly ironed, my room clean. The house to have prefect lines a structure no clutter.