It really bothers me that he's not taking responsibility for his own feelings, but instead blaming you for the projective identification and trying to make you responsible for his feelings. Have you ever considered that maybe you haven't perfected the "art of projective identification," and that the negative countertransference issue may stem from a problem residing in him? Now you feel hurt and guilty, and he gets to disown his feelings. Sounds like he needs therapy, or maybe more supervision.