Thanks for the replies, guys. I bought a new notebook and will use it for good. You can't believe how hard this is for me, it's almost comical.

I just can't trust people won't read, it's not even that I believe they'll intentionally peek on my stuff, but who knows, maybe they're looking for something open a drawer and some words catch their attention.

I blush reading my old writings. I feel so ashamed and stupid for myself