I saw my therapist yesterday and told him about my suicidal thoughts and actions. I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want to be put in the hospital. I'm not going to start lying and hiding stuff from him now after all these years though. So, surprisingly he let me leave yesterday though he said he was considering Baker Acting me. This is putting someone IP against their will. Anyway, he instructed me to go home and shower, go to my NA meeting (not been in 10 days), and call my sister. Later that evening he called to check up on me. Decided to add Lithium to my medicine for the next 2 weeks. So I got that on my way home from the meeting.

This morning he called me while I was on my way to work. He said that when he woke up he felt uneasy about his decision to let me leave yesterday. He asked me if I was feeling suicidal at the moment and I said no. He asked me if I did what he asked and if I took the Lithium last night. I said yeah. He told me that he wanted to admit me so I reluctantly agreed. I told him that I trust him though.

So as soon as I can get my stuff in order this morning I am supposed to call him and then report to the ER.

Just wanted to let you all know. Not sure how long I will be away but I know from past experiences that he doesn't like me in there too long because I start going backwards. I'm a little bummed that I will miss my 6 month clean time anniversary but I will just celebrate when I am out. Celebrate meaning to pick up my blue 6 month key tag.

Take care.

ata