I had always felt so much shame and guilt over what had happened. After it did happen I tried to burn myself. I felt dirty and I was so disgusted in myself for "causing" it to happen. At last I have come to terms with it. It wasn't me, it never was, and I'm not going to spend the rest of my life thinking it was. IT WAS HIM! These perps who offend are so piss weak because they don't have any influence in the adult world so they choose to prey on innocent, happy kids who take it for granted that they are always going to be safe. That's pathetic. For all intents and purposes I will never walk the same path as the man who assualted me. I am so much better than that.