When I read about splitting elsewhere I'm sure I don't do it. It's just not me. But when I read this thread I can easily relate. Splitting is a confusing thing to me.

I have an aunt who I believe to be a narcisist. Whenever I read psyc articles about splitting she comes to my mind. Let me tell about her behaviour, she's constantly finding someone in her life to put on top of the world. The relationship builds up really fast, with her giving everything to this person, talking wonders about them, calling them "the sister/brother/father/mother I never had/I've chosen" or "what a man, he's the man of my life". The 'chosen one', of course, is in a convenient situation and takes it all, until they slip... like everyone else, either because they get spoiled... ooor because they had bad intentions from the beginning (she seems to attract that kind from time to time), but even when told to slow down, my aunt won't listen and things get bad. From this moment, she'll turn against them, start giving the cold shoulder or even being mean, to the point it ends on a fight or, depending on this person being "subordinated" to her in a certain way, the relationship becomes unbearable. Not to mention the times when I don't really know what happened, but she apparently substituted her previous "friend" and starts making hurtful comparisons to hurt them. Somehow it seems like the person didn't grow up to her expectations and she starts to demean them.

These cycles tend to last a couple of months to an year, except from one time when she got married. That's how she deals with things too, they're either good or bad.

But you guys mention trust issues and splitting when someone you know hurt your morals, and that feels a lot like me. For example, there's this girl I know who tried to approach me a couple of times, but I disapprove some of her attitudes and can't get over it. I'm like "she's ok, I should become friends with her and open up a bit more" and then "omfg, she's disgusting I hate her" and I'm not just saying it, I absolutely feel it and regret later, specially because it makes me feel like I'm two-faced, but still won't get over it.

If I have bad interactions over a day, or if someone whose opinion I value says something that I find completely wrong or stupid or behave in a way that scares me (gets overly drunk, behaves aggressively or is intrusive with me, for example), I'll "split them black" and even worse: it triggers me into thinking I hate everyone. There are days when I get home feeling like everyone is worthless.

With my boyfriend I've been through many phases. Nowadays, if I get triggered I think "I should better end this relationship, I can't deal with this anymore", but won't say it, just think. There were a couple of times when I got really angry at him, overreacted and told him I didn't know if I wanted to be in a relationship anymore, but those are times when I'm feeling completely overwhelmed. Coming to think of it, I don't think he ever told me he hated me or anything, like I did back in the past.

However, I dont idealize people as "good", I don't worship them. So I really don't know if this is splitting or just trust issues.