Hello Doppeling: What you have written here all sounds very familiar to me. The one thing I want to say is, if you're around 17, you have plenty of time to undertake a transition if this turns out to be the direction you need / want to go. The only thing you lost was the opportunity to take testosterone blockers to delay the onset of puberty. But I've seen many trans individuals on YouTube who were older than you are & who transitioned into beautiful trans women.