hi Lelouch

Congratulations on not cutting yourself for so long. That shows you have what it takes to beat that. But why should you hate yourself? You are just as good as anyone else on the planet. So there is no reason. You are good at most things not so good at a few just like the rest of us. Try to think of the good things about yourself and your achievements. That should help to paint a better picture. Just keep your mind busy doing things to take it away from depression. I hope and pray you feel much better soon. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis