Thanks for sharing. I can relate to that you say your parents tell you they miss you but you donīt feel itīs for real. I think mine miss me but I canīt say I miss them back. We live quite far away from each other and especially my mum would want me to move back to where they live.
I think some of this wanting a mother figure depends on that I look up to older women who I admire, who have studied and who are intelligent and successful. As I myself strive for.
My parents didnīt go to university and they donīt have interests or such that I admire either. Perhaps thatīs one clue to why I look for mother figures.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nutters
When I was growing up I rejected my mother, I pushed her away when she tried to hug me. I'm not entirely sure I understand why I did this other than I didn't feel that it was real. My mother made me feel really terrible about my rejection of her. My brother would run up and jump into her arms. Though I rejected her I sought out a mother figure through teachers, an aunt, and when I got older, some older friends. As for my father, I don't recall any hugging at all and yet I don't seek out a father figure. I suspect some of this had to do with my very strict religious upbringing.
So when you say you don't feel loved by your parents even though they say they love you, I completely understand this. I don't feel it either, never have and I still don't as an adult. My parents tell me that they miss me and somehow that just doesn't feel real to me either.
It's definitely something that needs to be explored in therapy, something I have yet to do and need to because I have no feelings of love toward my parents at all.
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