Thanks for sharing. Itīs sad to hear what you gone through. Did your mother ever get a diagnosis? Perhaps you donīt want to speak about that in this forum but the description of how she acted sounds a bit like borderline. But thatīs just my thought when I read your post.
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Originally Posted by AuroraBorealis75
I also have been looking for a mother-figure since about the age of 11. I could have written everything you wrote. I have a very troubled relationship with my mom. She was extremely angry as I entered adolescence and when I came home from school I never knew what I was coming home to. Sometimes she would be fine, but other days it was like the house was exploding with her emotions. Then other days she would be in bed and my sisters and I would have to tiptoe around the house and not make a sound. I eventually stopped letting my mom hug me, because it was too confusing. Sometimes she acted like she hated me, and then moments later she would be apologizing and asking for forgiveness and wanting to hug me. There are so many women over the years that I have become attached to and wanted hugs from because I saw something in them that was different from the way my mom treated me. I still look for mother-figures even though I'm way too old to be doing that. In my head sometimes I think of my therapist as my "momma."
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