Have you tried using any coping skills for the SI? That's the main thing you need to get under control. That's what's worrying everyone and what's putting you in danger.

You know the coping skill where you squeeze ice? My T told me what's even better than that is sticking your whole head in ice water. I think she said it actually slows your brain and helps stop the thoughts.

I know this is going to sound harsh, but please know I also struggle with SI so I do understand. But you're giving into the urges right now. You're not even trying to minimize the damage. It's one thing to cut, but it's a whole other thing to do what you're doing.
I just want to see you get better. I know the pain. It does get better, but like people have said, it takes time.

Please take care of yourself.