Hmm.. I have mixed feelings about this.

I think it is okay that your pdoc lets you know that in your relationship together, he hurts. My T let me know this a couple of weeks ago. It allows us to see that our Ts/Pdocs are human, they have feeling towards us, too.

However, it doesn't sound like your doc told you this in the most gentle way possible.

What concerns me, is not so much the countertransference on his part, but his open admission to having it, and not being sure if it can be worked out. Of course Ts and Pdocs have countertransference, but it's up to them to be aware of it and work through it.

I think it is essential that you find out what is "dangerous." When my T told me that he felt hurt, I too, felt that I "broke" things between us. It became a wonderful chance for the two of us to explore my overall relational patterns.

I really hope that what is going on with your pdoc can be used to your advantage and healing. I wish he would communicate better with you, too.