First Hello to all! And Thank you for being here. : )New here. As of now there is primary or host. When"I" is used that is prim/host. Known alters by name. When "We" is used all who reside or majority agree or feel. Also there is "They". "THEY" are the shadow ppl. We feel They observe us. All of the I have been scared of the shadows becsuse for many yrs they would isolate an I in the small dark room alone. I won't go into any more detail here bout the SDR. Cuz I don't want to trigger. Most of us also still use I cuz we believe we are other ages of I. I don't know want to get in trouble so will not use "I" birth name unless told it's ok. I is singular and colaborative of the present state which is broken scared depressed grieving guilty weaker by the day and lost also colaborative all the quiet ones who are scared to fully come forward,stuck somewhere, hurting... As far as I has been informed, here are the "Alters" who have interacted with outsiders. SCARLETT~ Prim knows Scarlett and Scarlett definately knows prim and claims to know all. Scarlett has BPD. She is mad at I cuz I got years of DBT and told Scarlett she was no longer welcome because Scarlett refused engage in healthy coping behaviors or adapt to chosen life mate and role as mother to 2 beautiful children, which caused problems for everyone outside and in. Stacy self defense alter strictly reactive protective maybe lying about name cuz cant find inside, can't sustain long outside as of now. Anna older stern athoritative woman observed by husband last night he thought may be same as Dr. Brant who has not spoken outside but speaks to I, but hsbnd said Anna claimed to not know him or present I. but when Dr. Brant speaks to Is she knows alot about Is life's but never really mentioned anything regarding present situation?? I@4 : ) only past I or "little" who has been brave enough as far as I knows to interact outside with another although present I has had many conversations out loud with past Is. And possibly they converse out loud amongst each other. I love my little Is <3 They remind me of my children and they usully are happy. ,Never fit anywhere and am pretty sure this "earth" is not home and this "vessel" is a mistake. The shadow ppl have told me so as far back as memory serves. They described my true self as energy that was never intended for human form.But in human form comes a human brain which is hard wired to want to be a "normal" human. Still trying to map the anarchy inside. Idk yet what is. Was prompted my whole life to believe the shadow ppl were normal. Past Ts and Drs. kept saying in trMDD/ Bipolar2/GAD/ BPD voices are just your own negative thoughts and doubts. Hospitals would get frustrated cuz they ask why you do that to yourself? And always I would answer either I didn't do this or don't remember. They treated me as uncooperative. Parents just believed drs and force fed me meds that never made anything better just made my body sick. Mum sent me to 1st T @ 8 yrs old. Dissociative symptoms were either ignored, hidden, or just not noticed by past Ts. And I pretty much just stopped talking about them except when at worst I would try thru the tears to explain the noise was all too much and everybody was screaming at I and each other all at once. But We were never heard. Just sedated. 2 yrs ago, my family cruelly sneekily managed to take my children. Then like dominoes the rest of the only"outside reality" that We ever felt mostly safe in crumbled too. We were lost and wandering not sure of anything since. Finially, present I and most of We fought to find help who would listen. Slow at first, then woke up one day even They couldn't be found. Everything inside was a wasteland empty and silent as the grave. worst panic attack ever!! Could not understand why They would leave me all alone.😢 Then things started changing quickly.They came back but no longer seemed punitive or as powerful. And then voices started becoming more indiviual first talking only to each other but so I could hear, except the little Is who have always been there and talk inside. Then Scarlett came back... Then, she hijacked I body .😡 Then others I guess have come forward but as far as I know she is the only one who has emerged more than once since the outside has become aware of Us. This is all I know so far. We are scheduled for testing but hoping to try to find right support info and help before I lose my husband. He is all I have left of my "safe outside world" and I had lost him to his own issues for yrs but he started coming back to me and feeling safe again. But now he is overwhelmed by us. And suspicious of I and paranoid of Scarlett or me or us. He believes but then his mind believes that we or I am hiding something bad from him. Then I start to loss him to obsessive fits again. But he is not bad. And he is trying... Is this real????😢😢😢