(((((kimmydawn))))))

I see what you are saying, and I can relate. I blamed my father for everything because he was physically abusive, and emotionally abusive in a much more obvious and deliberate way than my mother was.

When I got deeper than that level in therapy, and began to deal with enmeshment issues with my mother, and neglect issues, I felt like the neglect issues got totally pinned on my mother- but both should have the blame for that aspect.

I admit it is very hard for me still to blame my mother about anything, and I DEFINITELY know what you mean about feeling like you have to fix everything for her.

(((((((Genesis)))))))))
It's ok. I think my response was a bit dramatic. I just felt really a lot like people (not you in particular) had come in and taken away my discussion of what was bothering me. I wanted to talk about this because I am still trying to learn to hold my dad accountable for the way our house looked and ran (or didn't). I still blame it on my mother, and I think that's a cultural issue- similar to what you were saying

Thanks for your input everyone
Angela