I'm no professional at all, so if you want to know exactly what you have, you need to go see a professional.

So, in my opinion, it sounds like social anxiety with depression. A few questions though. When you were a kid, were you not paying attention because it was too boring because you already knew the material, or because you were anxious and worrying about your thoughts, or for no reason at all?

Also, do you outburst into anger only when humiliated or when someone talks back to you, both? Do you always talk back to authority figure or is that because of being humiliated? Sorry if this is badly worded.

Did you act like this before your girlfriend in grade 10 whom you said emotionally abused you, or was this an always thing? Have you had anxiety because of the abuse or unknown? Again, no professional, so you should tell this to someone.

Do you have weeks that you feel on top of the world, like you are the best person on the entire planet, do things spontaneous that you wouldn't do normally (like spend too much money), do you start like a million projects but never finish them during this time?

Are your episodes of depression periodic or all the time? Do you feel worthless, too little/much sleep, eating too much/little, feeling guilty, not feeling like doing anything and stay in bed 24/7?

Sorry for so many questions, but... yep.

Also, do you feel like you always need to be in a relationship if one ends, and before one ends, you always try to make them stay with you because you fear abandonment? Does your mood change frequently throughout the day?

Anyways, maybe this will help you understand some more things. Maybe look up the conditions you listed in the title? Maybe that will help.

Also, do you feel like you aren't paying attention to anything, feel like you are driven by a motor, distracted by external or internal stimuli, interrupt people often, forget things all the time, lack organization, procrastinate until it's too late, can't sit still, and/or talk excessively?

Hope this helps [emoji4] .

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