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What did you answer your mother when she asked you to move back? I think if a T can be a mother figure for some time as you work these issues through perhaps youīll find that internalized support? I know itīs important a T donīt just get you dependent but also helpes you get independent of him/her before therapy ends. Just a thought, as a T can help you internalize different things that you need and looked for if done in a proper way.
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I told her that I like the place, which was true, but I was noncommittal about whether or not I would move back. It could have happened but it never did work out.
Yes a relationship with a T is a way to have that internalized parent built in, if you will. I am working on that. My T has been helpful, but not really in a relationship-with-her sense. However, part of the process I believe is the recognition and acceptance that things can indeed get better, but the loss of mother love is final and must be mourned.
One thing that I have found challenging is this: How do you mourn what you never had? How do you know what you lost, what it would have felt like, what it would have been like in daily life, so as to mourn it?