he was lovely last time. very very gentle. he said that he got my emails but wasn't sure whether i wanted him to respond or not... he said he kind of wanted to print the last one and talk to me about it, but he didn't want to give me a sudden shock or anything and so he didn't.

i sent him the last post i made on the meds board... all kinds of themes in there... stuff about my worrying sometimes about malevolent intent. i guess that was why he was so very gentle. stuff about my not wanting to talk about him leaving either 'cause it is embarrassing how i get attached to people who don't really care about me.

he said little things... to try and show me that he does care, i think. hard to find the balance between treating me like other patients (no special treatment - so i don't feel threatened) and saying little things to show he does care about me (so i don't feel threatened). safety. is hard.

but he seemed... not demoralised. that was great. meant a lot.

i love my t.