This lady, who works for the same mall came in a minute ago, complaining about the company policy of not letting her wear sunglasses while on the job. She tells me that even a lightly tinted pair weren't allowed. She had to have a friggin surgery on her left eye, it's her medical condition, and she's been darn nice to me buying me coffee and stuff. She's diabetic, so she won't be accepting chocolates and cookies from me, the best I can do is to shoot the **** with her even when I'm not in the mood. Wish I could do more for her. I did one thing though, there are a couple of naked mannequin outside and they were scaring her and myself, so oneday I covered them up with a plastic sheet, I even made a maxi dress for one of them, plus a masquerade mask.
As for me today, I've got a belly button infection!
It hurts whenever I'm required to move my body, it's worse when I need to bend over. No taking off my shoes when the nature calls today. Oh it hurts especially when I poke on it, I just think like I wonder how much pain are we equipped to deal with? Seems a little excessive if you think all we do is be born and die.
I have been sleeping longer, making it to early start long weekend shift is getting harder and harder. I'm thinking of getting sjw pills and multi vitamin pills on the way back home today. This mulnutritoned body could be quite serious and I been still going back and forth between eating properly and almost not eating what's required of me.
Well, my work's piling up. My abs hurt whenever I move and this belly button discharge isn't stopping. Fun day!
Possible trigger:
Tomorrow, it may not be such a bad idea to get close to a rapid train that passes through my station, I remember I used to do that. (The train is operated by a real human being, so this option is kinda out.)My recent behaviors such as taking my razor to work or sharpening the knife at work needs revision. I'm still quite serious though, I want to perform my own bloodletting and I'll be soaking a post card with the red viscous liquid and send it to my mom, yes I'm a bastard for doing that, but I'm in a survival mode I guess, unfortunately free clean needles aren't accessible to me, I'd rather cut myself, suture it if I have to, than letting my brain take me back to the cage,that happened last week for several hours. Living my life now can be looked at as losing the part of me till the day I die, it's no fun. Whatever I'm feeling right now, it's not self hatred. I may be doing some course corrections, if little cuts gonna give me more extension of life which I consider I'm already be on, I'm ready to take that now.