Sorry, but what to you mean with "She said this is insight"?

I'm not diagnosed with AvPD, but I share way too many traits with this.
I suggest that you, please, don't rush into thinking that your personality is unfixable or that AvPD is your personality, because it is not. I too feel like my unhealthy behaviour has shaped me more than what I'm aware of, but being hard on yourself won't make things better.

You can learn how to cope through therapy (I kinda got it that you're seeing a doctor/therapist?) or some other method, and make things more manageable and less triggering.