its such a shame to have to postpone it. ive been in college since 2007. ive been postponing my degree for a year now - just got back into it. i had many hospitalizations in the beginning. i should be done by now especially with an associates degree but im not. thats a two year degree. im embarrassed it gonna take 6 years to do a two year degree or more than 6 - maybe 7.

and i still prob wont be getting a bachelors degree before 30 years of age. that was my goal. i had 10 years to do that goal and i most likely failed.

i have to push myself because if i dont ill end up nowhere and i know that about myself. i know ill prob be sitting around on my butt if i dont push myself.

but thats the key isnt it? to push yourself. but its hard. its really hard. because now i dont just have schizophrenia. now i have schizophrenia AND im on meds that make it harder to live.

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idk what im getting at right now. because i would crap my pants knowing i had to live alone - but then i couldnt drive. not 3 times a week. thats 6 hours of driving a week at the least.

my therapist went to this school she said. she said she drove everyday. she said i shouldnt live alone. she advised against me living alone. idk why. but it doesnt help.

i need to do some research on living there. i already know the driving aspect. its an hour there and back.