I am finally getting OK, maybe, after 5 years of therapy for PDNOS and DDNOS. I’m sad about my dysfunctional family, my somewhat dysfunctional life, etc. I’m too old to become a therapist myself but I had so much terrible, unhelpful, sometimes harmful therapy before I got to my current T, I wonder if it might be helpful if I tried to describe some of my experiences, in a blog or a book or something, so that some therapists might have a chance to get a clue? I can do it, I think, from the perspective of how I was harmed and hurt, having had to accept this in my current therapy. Some of the energy in wanting to do this does come from anger. Can’t right the wrongs that were done to me in my own life – can’t right the wrongs that I did in the past, either. But the poor therapy contributed to the ways that I hurt other people without knowing it, I think. The therapists’ didn’t get me and I didn’t get that they were not helping and even hurting me, because of my numbed out, dissociated feelings.

It still gives me this freaked-out, “I was hurt and I didn’t even know it” kind of feeling. Don’t know if I could write effectively – I’m temperamentally more analytical than emotional so I might not be able to write in ways that connect with other people. But do you think it’s possible it might do some good? In my experience, expecting numbed-out people to evaluate the effectiveness of a therapy is not reasonable. It gets the therapists off the hook but hurts the clients.