I have the same problem and can't figure it out. I want someone to know my soul so badly, but when I try to let my true self out it comes out in a ****ed up, anxiety riddled mess. Emotionally, I want to spill my heart out but it's like the logical part of my brain is saying, "No, you idiot! She will never understand. She will think you are a monster! As much as it hurts to keep it inside it's NOTHING compared to how you'll feel when you get rejected!"

If I pour my heart out and someone can't handle it and walks away I'm afraid I might go berserk.