In January I fell in to life changing debt sue to a spread bet with an investment group in the UK.

Their failure to close my positions quickly left me with a bill of hundreds of thousands of pounds.

I have tried to fight back to no avail. Since Jan I've been going out of my mind and there have been days where all I do is find ways to take my own life.

I have tried to be strong but several months of this has got to me. I avoid people and I've just become a recluse.

I've read as much as I can about coping with this but I feel none of it matters and that there is no point in me being around.

I can't speak about it freely with family and friends as no one seems to get it. Yes it is only money but I am one of those that strives on trying to do the best I can. I have royally failed and I can't go on.

What if anything can help me block out the pain? I've tried herbal remedies to no avail.

I am pathetic that I can't even muster up the courage to do it. My worry is that I will manage it one day soon and I won't be able to stop myself.

Sorry for rambling on. I just needed somewhere to open my heart. There is no one that wants to listen and no one can really help.