Took a 200mg caffeine pill last night and went to sleep to waking up like I haven't rested well and I always do sleep well. I took it because I procrastinated doing some of my school work and want to take the Concerta as prescribed.

I still didn't study so when I'm done listening I music, I will.

If that doesn't work, I'll go as far as locking up my phone and giving my mom the key until I'm finished.

I took 400mg of caffeine and 200mg this morning with my 72mg Concerta and I shouldn't have but I guess my heart is ok as I'm young. I still don't have the motivation like I normally do. I feel like if I move too much, I'll get attacked psychologically by my family or anyone that is around my house.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

Like where is my life going..

I still blame myself but there's nothing I could have done with having negative symptoms because I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me.

The life that I could have had in this mind set is what I want. I can't imagine. I feel like I'm just going to drift forever.