Rosegirl, It's a cycle I recognise too, like yourself I've been in therapy for years and I seem to hit a brick wall. It doesn't help that over this time, I've had a lot of negativity and judgement from people in MH, these people are supposed to help but this isn't always what happens, then I've had MH staff start a course with me and then appointments get rescheduled or they call in sick. It's not very encouraging.