Rose from what I know everything is okay now. Your not bad or anything for what you did. Since it did scare you you need to talk about that. Scaring oneself is the hardest thing I've had to deal with. A good therapist wont shy away from topics like that even if it makes them uncomfortable. They may want you in partial hospitalization until they become more comfortable with your issues and you've learned when to reach out for help even if it's after the fact. Not all therapists will send you to the hospital for being you. As long as they know stuff like this happens and somehow you make it through. They may ask to try mess to calm undesirable behavior /thoughts but it's more about learning not to act on thoughts and reconising when negative thoughts are there before you unwillingly act on them.