Oh Rapunzel, thank you so much for writing back with your wonderful words of wisdom! I was concerned that I would sound like a freak. Thank you, thank you for helping me through this.

I guess I'm like you in that I want to be stable when I visit my therapist. I have to be in control, and I don't want anyone to see that something may be bothering me. When I was in the hospital once, they said that I fought so hard not to cry in sessions.....they thought that it may be some sort of value that I hold that I can't cry in front of people. And I guess the same goes for appearing in control and stable. Even though I would LIKE for my therapist to see how whacked-out I can become, I put on a real nice presentation of normalcy when I'm sitting in her office. That is why noone sees that I'm worse than they think. Sigh. We must be CRAZY!!

I've never called a therapist out of the blue, so I don't think I'll be doing that. I'll just ride this out and hope for the best. But I'm pretty "buzzed" right now....both physically and mentally. It gets worse as the day wears on. I'm usually okay when I get up in the morning, but then I start going weird throughout the day. Ugh! I feel like I'm a hundred different people, and I can't even begin to get them all organized so that my brain can slow down. Darn Thanksgiving!! I knew that I didn't want to place myself in that situation. I guess I should have listened and acted upon my little voice.

Thank you so much for all the suggestions for grounding myself!!! I think that staying in contact with someone is the best. I find that just sitting and typing a message to someone, daily, helps me get the crazies out a bit. The recipient of the messages may be freaked (!!)....and I may be embarrassed when I'm stable again....but it's better than bouncing around in my apartment thinking of acting upon the weird thoughts!!!!

Again, thank you so much for all your ideas. I really appreciate that you accepted my message. As you might be able to tell, I'm flying a little bit right now! LOL! But I don't know how to stop it...so I have to find a way to live with it...for now. How long do these episodes last?? I feel like I'm doing something bad.

Take care of yourself!!

Love,
Sandy