Quote:
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"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it." ~Mary Engelbreit
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Welcome, NoMoreMeNow. It is amazing what a person can do if he/she wants to.
You are grieving about your perceived failure. While no one may help you get the money back, there is professional help for the shame manifestly distorting your thinking.
The choice is yours.