Everyone knows because I've been IP so often. I can't hide disappearing for a week or more. No one's ever been nasty to my face about it so that's good. I don't know if they talk behind my back (referring to my late husband's family). Doesn't really matter.

I try to keep it out of work. I've told three coworkers about it. My administration know because I've had to take so much time off. I do know there have been many rumors though. One was that I tried to kill myself, which I didn't. That was nice.

I feel shame because I really feel that I should have more control over this than I do. I guess I have to try to accept that sometimes it's just not under my control.