I've also being thinking that "abuse" is not really a good word, but I can understand in the context of wanting someone to call me "names" and to physically inflict pain. I know there are limits but, I don't think that there would be anything more arousing or satisfying that for my wife to have me in a physically submissive posture (ie. only hands and knees, held by a collar and leash), being made to perform sexually immasculating acts (ie. oral sex on another man), being called names (ie. sissy, ******, *****) and admitting to her that I enjoy it all and want more.

Any one of those individual things could be considered abusive and wrong by some, but for me it would bring me to a point where I could no better show my devotion/submission to her, no better show my true sexual self and for her to no better show her acceptance of who I am.

The reality is, this will likely never happen and I am sure that many people likely can't see "my logic" in my statements. But somehow in my heart, mind and soul...the above described scenario demonstrates that I am completely hers and willing to give all for her.

It is difficult to know the line between abuse and acceptable pain. Some may have bigger limits. Ultimately up to the submissive to set the limits. If he tells you to squeeze his testicles, then squeeze them until he tells you to stop.