Quite a lot has happened since the last time I've posted. Especially within the past week. I went and saw a Psychiatrist at the beginning of the month which was an experience I was put on 100mg of zoloft in the morning and 25/50 mg of Trazadone at night. The Trazadone hasn't worked at all. I still have not been able to sleep. So this past week I took 450 mg and a xanax and it still did nothing for me. My intention was to take the whole bottle of trazadone, but I was worried it wouldn't kill me and then I wouldn't have had any left. I told my Therapist about all of this and more and my father was called and I had to go to a Psychiatric hospital to get an evaluation, or else. I went had it done, and didn't meet the criteria, but I lied. I lied on several of the questions she asked because I don't want to be there and was afraid they might have kept me.
Everyone who knows I've lied is acting as if I'm crazy for lying.
Now my Therapist obviously doesn't want to see me..I really think she is trying to ruin me and I don't know why. I tried being honest and she couldn't handle it. Now I don't know what to do. I can't trust anyone with anything I say or trust anyone with anything for that matter. I don't know if the zoloft is working. It's only been 2 1/2 weeks or so and I know it takes 4/6. I just think I'm having a difficult time, and I'm hurt. I feel betrayed and I just want to be alone although I can't stand it. I want to disappear for awhile and get my head straight.