another post of yours says you are 17. boy do I remember that age. very confusing and full of raging chemicals/hormones and other changes in the body that sent me into feeling suicidal, depressed and hating my life.

we dont tell you what to do here and we cant make your life better, only you can do those things for yourself. what i can tell you is that if you choose to hold on just a bit longer things will naturally settle down. a persons bodily changes with all those chemicals and physiological side of depression and suicidal stuff during the teen age years usually settles down as a person enters their 18-25th years.

also there are many great medications out there and some locations do allow teen agers aged 17-18 to get treatment with out their parents interfering. not all locations but a great many teens now can go to their school psychologist, medical doctors and therapists, psychiatrists on their own. the parent may have to be notified due to billing and insurance but other than that most 17 yr olds in the USA can get into treatment now.

my suggestion is contact your school psychologist, they can help you and if you cant get to your school psychologist contact your primary care physician. something you many not now is that every american is supposed to have basic mental and physical health coverage and a primary care physician (sometimes this is assigned by the insurance company and sometimes people can choose their own based on who is covered by the insurance plans.) what all that means is you can get treatment if you live in a location that allows 17 year olds to do so with out their parents and if you feel you need it now.

also just a heads up though active suicide posts usually are not allowed there is a gray box at the bottom of every page with emergency numbers that you can call for help. in some of the forums there is also a thread stuck to the top of the forum that also lists emergency numbers like the suicide hotline.