This week sucks pretty much.

Tomorrow is my Dad's birthday and I just miss him so much. Ive been tearing up some today and just know tomorrow will be hard.

And....Im a bit upset with my sister. She went to college and has a Bachelors in Early Childhoo Development and a Masters in Special Education. Now shes decided to get a degree to be a principal of a school. Im happy for her but shes decided to go to the school I dropped out of. She got her other two degrees from the same school. Now shes taking online courses to a school 3 hours away for this degree. It kind of hurts my feelings shes chosen the school I went to because I didn't graduate college. I went and my depression got out of control. I tried getting counseling help there and couldn't. I was very unwell and no one knew about it. My self-harming and isolating was crazy bad while there. I guess it just hurts because of all the school she could go to she picked the one I went to and couldn't handle. Im a college drop out but this school was something I tried to do away from all her accomplishments.

Im pathetic I know. It keeps making me tear up. When she graduates a year from now she wants me to go to her graduation. It will be so hard. It was supposed to be my alma mater and now it will be another one for her. im not jealous...my feelings are just hurt because im a failure.