Wow. You did get lucky. I'm sort of dying to know now if you're near me (I'm in the SE too) and saw the same specialist. My T screwed up by telling me that I could see the specialist (as a regular T), after the consultation, if we got along better. I *loved* the specialist, as she really seemed to understand what was going on and was able to explain things so much better than my T, but she wasn't accepting new clients. I'm still, 15 years later, a bit heart-broken about that.

She gave me referrals, but it was a bit of a mess. One was terrible and couldn't adapt to me at all, it was probably a bad match. One worked at my school's counseling center (all this happened as I was starting grad school - fun), but after one session, she told me that I "need long-term help, and the counseling center doesn't provide that". She also refused to see me at her private practice, go figure. One person (a different recommendation) was super defensive - it's a shame, because looking back, the way she described her approach might have actually been perfect for me. But, when I asked her what "phase oriented therapy" was (it was recommended to me by the specialist, but I had no clue what it entailed), she snapped back that she had been a therapist longer than I had been alive..

I landed with someone eventually and stuck it out for 3 years, but never really got to the point of diving in and doing therapy. It just didn't work for me. And, as I said, now that I'm picking therapy back up, my new T, who has some really wonderful traits, is not well versed in dissociation. So, I'm getting a lot of stuff like, "well, not remembering your childhood is perfectly normal!" - and am having trouble conveying the fragmented feeling of all of it.

Sorry for unloading on you! I'm just sort of excited to see someone who has maybe had a similar journey, and I really do think that writing about it could be enormously helpful. I wish... I don't know, I wish it were easier. Therapy is already hard, finding a therapist who is a good match, and doesn't think that dissociative disorders are totally made up (!) shouldn't be the hard part of getting better.

Thanks!