I went to my family doctor today. First of all, he checked my urine. There was (hmmm) things in it that shouldnt be. I guess the jist of it was that my muscle is now "eating away". Not enough water intake or anything else for that matter. So off I went for blood work.
But that's nothing new. I found this lump in my right breast. I was not going to say anything but I need to know what it is. The look on my doctors face was enough. It is very large and has been there for a while. I just thought it was nothing, until now. Cancer runs in my family BIG TIME. After he felt it, he phoned for a mamogram. I don't want to go, I am scared now. I wish I had someone to come with me. My appointment is next Tuesday. First they are doing an ultrasound then the mamogram.
So here I am killing myself day by day, then this. I thought I was ready to die but I am not. I am so scared all I can do is cry.
Please hold my hand, maybe its only in thought but its real in my mind. All I can say is [censored]. Sorry but I wanted to edit this. Is this my punishment? Not everybody believes in a higher power, but I do. This bad feeling that I had, that something is going to happen to me, well this is it. I just know it. I hate these feelings I get.
When my Mother got sick with cancer, I had this nagging feeling before we even found out. The feeling was before she even told us that she was not feeling well. I get this a lot. 90% of the time, I am right. I can't see the future or anything; lol, but its these feelings I get.
This is it. This is what I was talking about.

Justy