Oh my GOD you poor thing. Nobody should ever put up with abuse-let alone the overtly sadistic nature in which he tries to dominate you.
My only advice is to get the hell out of there. You can't fix him and the emotional damage inflicted upon you has very, very serious long term implications . If he threatens to harm you or your family, go to the authorities or get an AVO. You staying and being submissive is only feeding the monster. Run and don't look back.