The depression is still not good, but reading many different posts from many of you has got me to thinking about what really matters. To the posts about coloring books, thank you because I love to color, draw, paint and I have not done any of this for over 2 years. I was just about to get rid of all my art supplys but I'm not. Drawing has been something that had made me happy so this past weekend I started doing some. I haven't felt at peace with myself for a very long time but this weekend I let myself feel peace. It's going to take time and I'm thankful I have a T that does care. She wants me in a partial program and before I would have said no. But I am thinking about it. Music is another way that helps me when I get really depressed. Playing the piano this weekend also brought peace. And in the last couple of days I have read 2 books, I like mystery books, sci fi books and this is the first time reading in over a year. I watched a lot of Dr. Who and Father Brown this weekend. This weekend is the first time that I let myself off the hook from feeling so down on myself. The first time that I didn't cut. The first time I felt relief. Thank you everyone for your posts, a lot that I can relate to, a lot I understand how you feel and have been thru. Understand the lows and the highs of what some have been thru.