Hi Cherry

I am sorry that your situation is so difficult. Perhaps if your psychiatrist did something to strengthen or change the medication for you. it would make things easier. I'm glad you have decided to go on because not doing so absolutely ruins the lives of your loved ones who never would recover from the bad feelings
Perhaps your therapist could help you to accept and make the best of the situation you are in.
If you have a consuming passion in life to give real meaning and satisfaction such as a charitable cause that attracts you or something that fired you up in earlier times, it would give real meaning to life. And a reason to go on. I hope and pray everything improves for you soon. Take care. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis