i cut my finger pretty bad last night when i was cutting up that orange. it doesnt need stitches but it did bleed a lot. and its really swollen. i put some peroxide on it. i asked T if he had a band aid but he didnt. i saw T, it went ok. we were talking about how much i think hes dead. he wrote out a bunch of stuff on some paper as we were talking about it. i have it now. we were writing down the process of how i end up believing that hes dead. he also said something about how i am attached to him emotionally and how it relates to my dad. i am attached to my T and he knows that, i have also told him i love him (not in a romantic way). i never really thought of the him dying thing in regards to that. i told him i feel like i have to obsess about him being dead in order to prevent it from happening. he said he really appreciates that i try to protect him. i also told him about some ******** at work and about my last exam that i did bad on. i didnt do that bad but it really disappointed me when i tried so hard. i felt like i didnt wanna leave Ts office and go back into the real world... he asked me if i am gonna come to their board game night. i work tonight 4 to 9... also i am eating a sandwich. to keep my blood sugar up.