hi NoMoreMeNow

Suicide is definitely not the answer as it would totally ruin the lives of your family and friends and you don't want to do that. I'm sorry you have this crippling debt. But perhaps the best solution would be to declare bankruptcy and start over again financially.
I am sorry that the herbal medication is not working. Perhaps seeing the Dr. or psychiatrist for medication would be best. Have you tried seeing a counselor or therapist to help you with these problems?

I do believe it is important to have a consuming passion for life. which could be a charitable cause, or something that fired you up in earlier times. that would always give you a reason to go on and make a difference. I hope and pray everything gets better for you soon. Take care. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis