My bipolar diagnosis has been hiding under the radar for me all throughout my teenage life till now. I'm 23 now and it's amazing how someone could go misdiagnosed for so long. I was always diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. The "mania" I'd feel was very mild in comparison to the manic stories I'd hear from others with BP. I did not always feel a "happy" mania, and being diagnosed with narcolepsy too I wasn't super energetic. I had racing thoughts, loud music in my head, anxiety, randomly reaching out to friends I haven't talked to in a while, doing tons of stuff at once. But they were so short lived compared to my depression.

It all make sense now though looking back. Bipolar disorders run in my family. I always thought antidepressants just stopped working after a while for me, but what I was really feeling was "manic switch"- or antidepressant-induced mania. Then I'd go back to a depressed mood again because the antidepressants weren't actually working. We all thought it was dysthymia/treatment resistant depression. Abilify was really helping me but I had to stop due to the severe weight gain.

Right now I am on Lamictal and low dose Lithium. I'm feeling mixed states with this so far, like panic attacks. But I'm hoping at least now this will shed a light on better treatment.

I'm so new to all this...I don't know what to do. I'm still learning about bipolar disorder. I feel really lost. When you were newly diagnosed, what helped you?

Thank you and Im looking forward to hearing your stories too