The long term effects of the meds, I try not to think about. I know I'm doing better on the meds and I'm not having such a huge impact on the ones I love. Yes, I still have a small episode here or there, but for the most party I'm doing ok. So, I would really think hard about taking the chance on going back to what you were and going through that all again and the effects it has on the ones who love you. I agree with BlackGeek, talk to your pdoc first if really are wanting to do it.