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angelicgoldfish05 · Sep 22, 2015, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoonSunn

Hey!

I'm 22 and realizing I'm severely mentally ill, I can't begin to grasp what it is. I've been to a couple therapists and psychiatrists and so far I'm starting to understand I have childhood schizophrenia, life-long opiate addiction, poly-drug addiction too and now I think I have autism, too. I was poorly parented and lack a great deal of maturity.

I know a lot of people (hundreds, thousands, really), but the older I get, the harder it is for me to communicate with them. Something between the lines of http://thelittleblackduck.com.au/lbd...munication.png + my thoughts are often of schizophrenic content

They often tease me in groups and my reaction can be anything from catatonia, hallucinations or involuntary head nodding, twitching, saying 'no', clapping hands.

Some started pointing out I am retarded for not meeting my social expectations - it happened so that I am at a position where I was supposed to master the social communication, but I'm struggling with understanding what people want from me, what they are saying, how to 'code' back what I need to say, non-literal language etc.

I remember before I was such a screw up, we took IQ tests at school and I just solved all patterns correctly which placed me at the top 1% or something like that, so I don't think I'm retarded. I used to compete in math, chess, music, logic etc. and was very good at it. I speak several languages fluently, however cannot use language the way others do.

Any thoughts on this, am I autistic? How exactly is autism 'treated' - talk therapy?

What kind of thoughts do you have when you say schizophrenic content? Great postcard link I can totally relate to most of it. I'm terribly socially awkward and it takes do much effort sometimes to appear normal in certain situations. If the other person does not lead the conversation, I have no idea what to say. It's easier to figure out how to respond but even that's difficult at times. I think my thought process can be really different from others and although I've never been diagnosed schizophrenic (I don't meet a lot of the criteria) I wonder if my thoughts are either related to schizophrenic like content, or if not it has to be because of PTSD. I don't think I have autism or anything cause that shows up when you are a kid and I didn't have any problems as a kid. Probably social anxiety. Anyways I have no idea about what it is for you but I wish you well.