Oh, sjkero, I'm sorry I don't have more advice for you, but it sounds like your therapist is very kind. I do feel like so much of these feelings that can sometimes stress us out so much just arise naturally out of the situation. I would imagine that your therapist would understand that, and she'll hopefully offer you the compassionate response you sound like you really deserve. It sounds like being honest with her about this was such a huge step for you, and it also sounds like she will respect and honor that.