I think that maybe the solution is to change your doctor? He sounds an @$$hole. What kind of medic tells you that you will die? What kind of doctor knows you are suicidal but doesn't act on it? In both cases, not a good doctor.

Of course he should put aside his own feelings. This is about you, not him. He has hundreds of patients, but each patient is an individual, and he should treat each patient as such. You are suicidal: you shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that, especially not by your own doctor. He should be doing all he can to help you, not blaming you for your condition and making you feel bad.

It's frightening just how many people on this board mention their ignorant doctors...

So justme, I think you should change doctors. From the sound of it, you're not going to improve with your current doc because it seems he has no confidence in you and doesn't want to help you.