I could really identify with much of what you are going through.

My demon, also alcohol, also whiskey was getting way out of control. I was also addicted emotionally and psychologically though not physically, which is surprising considering how much I was consuming. My weight is also a problem and I knew I was consuming many empty calories in alcohol. And yes, I don't watch what i eat.

Two months ago, something in me snapped. I didn't hit a rock bottom but I knew my marriage was going to suffer. I knew my liver was already suffering. I knew I no longer enjoyed drinking but still did so (also evenings) because I craved that "high" / being drunk. I also have an alcoholic mother and I've watched her nearly kill herself a few times with alcohol. And so, after a lovely weekend away with the family, I called my husband to my side and told him I wanted to stop. He has been nothing short of supportive and loving to me. And I stopped. That was two months ago. It has been the most liberating thing for me. I do not miss alcohol in any shape or form physically, and went through no physical withdrawal. I guess I was very lucky. I was super cranky the first week, and thought about drinking a lot. But I didn't drink. And I know I won't drink now.

But you see, I haven't lost any weight! I've been guzzling my way through thousands of calories a day. All the wrong things. Having struggled with my weight for a long time and having lost before, I know I'm doing wrong. But can't seem to stop myself. Instead of that apple, I reach for cookies. Instead of some oatmeal for breakfast, I'll have a donut. Needless to say, since stopping drinking, I've lost no weight at all and wouldn't be surprised if I've gained.

So I have a new issue to deal with. And soon. As I can't carry on looking like this.

I feel so much empathy for you because I have also struggled with these things. Each person's struggles are different so please, do not let me take away from what is obviously extremely hard for you. But I understand. And I hope, on this journey, I have given you a little bit of hope.