I've read that the most important thing about therapy is the therapeutic relationship. There are frequently posts here questioning how "genuine" that relationship is, and a lot of posts expressing anxiety about that relationship.

My question is, "What is the difference between what you are looking for, and what you can expect?"

A for example in my case I wanted to have a more affectionate, warm and fuzzy, mother when I was young; and now I really want an intimate relationship with the wife I don't have. Obviously my therapist isn't going to be either, but I thought she might be a kind of surrogate (fill in) who could help me develop those sorts of relationships in my real life. I thought she could help me experience those things in another way. More generally I wanted someone to listen and offer support. What seems to be happening though is that we are developing our own relationship along different lines. She is helping and supporting in her own way. How to define that relationship is more difficult.